Have you ever lost an opportunity in your life because you were afraid? Is there something that could change your life right now, but the fear of the unknown or the risk holds you back? At some point we all face a fear that paralyzes us to a degree. How long that fear lasts determines if we will go after the goal or opportunity that waits for us on the other side. The question to ask yourself is this: If I was able to overcome my fear, how much would my life change? I imagine it would change in a significant way. If you are ready to overcome your fears, keep reading on.
If I were to ask you to write out all the things that get in your way of what you want in life, I would bet the farm that nearly every one of those things that hold you back have their root in a fear. The thing we think holds us back is the symptom, but the root cause is fear. When I coach people, it isn’t to fix a symptom, but rather to get down the the cause of the issue and eliminate it. After that’s done, the symptoms themselves begin to disappear. So when it comes to what’s holding you back, whether it’s time, money, resources, lack of knowledge, whatever it is, we need to address to root cause of all of it, which is most likely based in fear.
To address overcoming fear, I want to use one of the most common acronyms for fear.
False Evidence Appearing Real
Most of our fears are embedded in assumptions that we make up in our own mind. These assumptions have no truth attached to them. So in our mind we make up situations that haven’t even happened, and most likely will not happen. When we stand back and look at it that way, how crazy does that sound? We must get out of this habit of making these assumptions and move into truth based thinking. How do we do this?
Let’s go right at the acronym and counter the words of F.E.A.R.
We have to attack this way of thinking. We do this by countering it with truth. Take a hard look at the situation you are facing right now. What are the truths about that situation? Write them down. This is key. We can think of things in our mind, but when we use more of our senses and can feel writing it out, see it with our own eyes on paper, read it out loud and hear the truth, we begin to believe it. To solidify those truths even more, confirm it with others. It’s one thing for us to believe it, but when we can have the same belief from someone else, that confirms it within our mind.
What are the facts? When we are talking about fear, nearly all the time we have no solid evidence to back up that fear. It’s all based on assumption of things that haven’t happened yet. It’s liking going to court and presenting your argument on assumptions. How would those assumptions stack up against the hard evidence of the situation? Your assumptions wouldn’t stand a chance! Find the true evidence and way it against your assumptions. Like a pros vs cons list. See how many evident things outweigh your assumptions.
Have the things you feared actually appeared to you? What we see from our mental picture is the reality we create within our life. Take inventory of the things your fear that have actually appeared in your life. If there are any that have actually already appeared, how much are they affecting you right now and what impact would they have on your future if you went after what you want? Most likely, the things we fear appearing are not as big as we make them out to be. It’s like hearing clatter downstairs when you’re home alone and you think someone has broken in. And come to find out, it’s just the wind knocking some leaves from a branch against the window. We make things out to be bigger than they really are, and when we take an honest look, most of the time, we’ve given fear more power than we ought to.
This is where some exercise comes in on your part. Mental exercise I should say. What do you want your reality to be? If you go back to your situation or look at your goal, you’ll find your answer. To get there, we must be purposeful. There must be solid intent. To put these into motion, we need to convince ourselves that what we want is real and what we fear isn’t. Affirmations are going to go a long way in accomplishing this. Take a look at what you want, and imagine yourself already there. Then, create some statements that match up with what’s going on in that future. Here’s an example: say you want a promotion, but there are other people who have a better resume than you. Because of this, you fear you won’t stand a chance against them. What’s the reality you want? A promotion. So imagine yourself already being promoted and come up with some affirmations to make your brain believe you’re promoted. “I’m an outstanding marketing director who brings creative ideas to the table.” “I lead my team with confidence as a marketing director.” “My boss is impressed by my performance and thankful I was chosen for the job.” These affirmations will produce confidence within yourself, reduce your fears, and give you the mental edge you need over your competition.
Fear is real thing. It grips people and holds them back from going after what they want. It keeps them isolated from people and events. It cripples the potential inside each one of us. But fear can be overcome. We see it daily by all types of people and it inspires us. If someone else can do it, you can do it. It requires some work, but doing what has been advised above will make the fear you feel dissipate bit by bit and soon your confidence will override the fears you have and you’ll be on your way to achieving what you’re after.